our news!!

WOW I use to be so good about constantly keeping this updated and then I just keep getting further and further behind.  Now that I am finally feeling good again I will try harder, except I am so far behind it seems too overwhelming so I will start today with December 5th and then go from there later!!!
Had my second Dr. appointment Dec. 5th, at 10am. 14 weeks and expected a quick and painless visit.  Listen for a heartbeat, tell him I am still not gaining weight because I can not keep anything down and then go home.  Took the two little guys with me and it was quick (I don't know if they saw me faster bc I had 2 little guys with me or if he was just not behind yet).  It was not painless though... he had me lay down and poked around at my tummy and then confimed how far along I was and said that my uterus was too high.  That was all he said so I asked "Is that bad?"  I don't know.  He told me not bad just meant that either my date was wrong of there were multiples.  HEART STOPS NOW.  So, I scheduled an ultrasound for the 7th at 4pm and spent the next THREE days not able to stop freaking out, crying, reexamining my life, my house, my car, my storage, my sanity... you name it.  I knew my date was NOT wrong and so in my head that meant only one other option.  Well, after no sleep and a lot of tears we went in to our ultrasound just praying that it was not two boys.  I love boys but honestly, if I am going to have another baby... or two more babies, PLEASE not two boys.  Aaron decided he would rather have twin girls than even one boy and was actually nervous but excited at the idea of two babies... wierdo ;) JK!!!!
The ultrasound tech looked around for a sec and said well there is definitly only one baby in there, good heartbeat, bigger than 14 weeks but only measuring 15 weeks... no biggie.  So then she says the baby is big enough I can probably tell what gender if you are interested... ummm OF COURSE!!!
She is looking around and then says "Ok guys I think this might be a girl."  Did I mention that we had told her we had four kids but had NOT told her we had four BOYS?  I looked right at her and said, "You can not say that.  I have four boys at home".  Oh the look on her face.  I was probably a little rude but protecting my tender heart!!!!
She spent the next 10 or 15 minutes poking that baby for better angles and looking and double checking until she was positive that it really was a GIRL!!!!!  I started crying.  I never even imagined this time around that it could be.  I was SO sure with Trevor and Jared and this time I was positive it was another boy.  It has taken me a month now to finally be like, ok it just might be a girl.  I feel guilty that everybody in the world seems more excited than I have allowed myself to be.  I just am so nervous about it being wrong... that I will get my hopes and dreams up and then be crushed.  I will have another ultrasound, the full anatomy one, here in a week or so and I am grateful for a second look.  BUT, I finally have broken down and bought a few things.  I have some pink in my life.  It is going to be fun to change color schemes and be able to do things we have never done and planned on never doing before.  I am SOOO excited.  I am SOOO overwhelmed.  I am grateful for not having twins but that it opened up the opportunity to find out a little early.  I feel guilty for all the months of tears and whining and complaining because my life was always going to be boys.  I LOVE my boys.  All of them.  I was so happy and content with just boys.  I had accepted that and now am having a hard time accepting that it isn't so.  It is silly, I know but... the chapter was closed and now we are reopening and editing it.  I will keep you updated (probably haha) and just hope that there is still a girl in there when June comes :)