Thoughts about Conference

We had Stake Conference this weekend, which I always love.  There is something about Conferences that just fuel the fire in me and make me happy.  I feel my bucket filling up and a determination that I can make it.  I am doing okay, and reevaluating where I can improve gives me a direction to head.  Last night was the adult session and because we failed to get a sitter I went alone.  Aaron went to Priesthood Leadership so it was my turn to get a session in.  It was fantastic to sit there without kids and listen, really listen, to our Stake leaders.  Today was good as well.  We had the four of these crazy kids but they were actually really good.  It was a miracle but I was able to listen and to glean messages for me in the talks that were given. I wanted to just take note of a couple of messages that hit me so that I have a reminder to see rather than let it slip away.

Last night President Burnham talked about the talk from Conference from Elder Uceda.  A family at scripture study and the contention leads to loss of temper and hurt feelings (glad it seems to happen in every family).  He talked about how the father went and prayed and then went to the daughter to apologize.  She pulled out her scriptures and read Mosiah 3:19, put off the natural man.  He talked about how in our families we are responsible to make our homes like the temple.  There is no place in our homes for the natural man.  I think about our home and how there comes times when tempers flare, words are said, and how often are apologies made?  How often do I admit that I am the one at fault and take the blame for my mistakes?  I need to reevaluate the natural man in me and how I can Put off the Natural Man and make my home a little more like the temple, like heaven!

The next talk that hit me was today when they hit on self-reliance.  We hear about this all the time.  He shared a story about seagulls who learned to eat from the shrimping nets and then didn't teach their children to fish but instead take the free handouts.  I am prideful and thought, well this talk doesn't apply to us.  We are not looking for handouts from the government.  We are supporting our family, paying back our loans, doing what we need to do.  I look back at our lives and I am proud that we have come as far as we have with only a little help.  We have had to seek help from parents a few times but we have always tried to do it on our own.  We learned to sacrifice things like eating out, going out and paying for entertainment, we gave up getting gifts for birthdays and Christmas to apply that money towards bills or food for our children a number of years.  We got rid of cell phones and Internet and other expenses.  We learned to make do with what we had.  We learned to wait until we had the money we needed to buy things we wanted.  We didn't get fun things to use or do instead got things that were essential often.  It was hard a lot of the time, the jealousy of watching others get things that I wanted or do things that I thought would be fun.  I have been adding to our food storage continually.  I know that we are far from having a full year's supply but we have a lot of food and could make it for a good bit of time if needed.  I was feeling so ... PROUD.  Ugh!  That nasty pride word.  I realized today that while that was good and we were learning to live within our means and take care of our own family without relying on others but self reliance goes beyond just that.  President Jensen quoted much from a talk by President Romney "The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance" given in 1985.  He said that self-reliance is the prerequisite to the freedom to act.  Then using that freedom to choose to help others.

"We lose our life by serving and lifting others. By so doing we experience the only true and lasting happiness. Service is not something we endure on this earth so we can earn the right to live in the celestial kingdom. Service is the very fiber of which an exalted life in the celestial kingdom is made....

"Can we see how critical self-reliance becomes when looked upon as the prerequisite to service, when we also know service is what godhood is all about? Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak."

Service is the very fiber of exaltation... it is what Godhood is all about.  I realized today that I am not truly self reliant until I turn around and serve... UNSELFISHLY.  I was thinking about this as only a temporal principle and it is very much a spiritual principle.  After all don't we learn that they are one!  Temporally we are doing okay in self reliance.  We are providing for our family, starting to look to the future, and giving a fast offering and other service as needed.  But, on a spiritual level have I gotten to the point where I am self-reliant so that I can lift others up, teach them through the Spirit, and be an example and witness of the Savior.  We can not become an agent unto our self until we are self-reliant.  And then we can not turn around and serve others until we are able to be an agent to ourselves and choose to act.

Just a thought that struck me and helped to motivate me to look inside myself, find my weaknesses, build them up to become more self-reliant spiritually and then become an instrument of the Lord in serving others.  I know that my Savior loves me.  I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true and that gives me peace and direction in this world of chaos and confusion.  I love my family and look forward with faith and prayers that we can stand together in the Celestial Kingdom with our Father in Heaven. And I can not wait for General Conference in just a few more weeks!!!